Private Relationship Reset Call.
Reclaim Your Self Trust.
Strengthen Your Relationships.
Stop Repeating the Same Patterns.
Have questions?
If you’re successful, capable, and self-aware but your relationships keep triggering doubt, overthinking, or emotional shutdown, this call is for you.
You may already understand your patterns.
You may know your attachment style. You may have done therapy, coaching, read the books, listened to the podcasts and spent a lot of time trying to understand yourself.
But when the emotional pressure rises, something changes.
You lose clarity.
You start overthinking.
You over-give, withdraw, explain yourself, shut down, or try to manage what the other person is feeling.
And afterwards, you may find yourself thinking:
“I knew better. Why did I do that again?”
That gap between what you understand when you're calm and how you actually respond when it matters is where we work.
This is not a motivational chat.
It’s a strategic diagnostic conversation designed to uncover why certain patterns keep repeating in your relationships and what it would actually take to shift them.
This call is for you if:
You’ve done personal development, therapy, or coaching but something still hasn’t fully landed.
You notice patterns like:
Over-giving or people-pleasing.
Pulling away emotionally when things get intense.
Losing clarity or self-trust in close relationships.
Overthinking what your partner is thinking, feeling, or going to do.
Wanting connection but resenting the effort it takes.
Struggling to hold a boundary when you fear the other person's reaction.
Knowing what you want to say, but losing access to it when you're emotionally activated.
Understanding your patterns intellectually but continuing to repeat them.
Relationship anxiety or silent conflict leaking into your day and stealing the focus and clean energy you need for your career or business.
Feeling like you're highly capable everywhere else, but somehow become a different version of yourself inside a relationship.
You value depth, honesty, and personal responsibility.
And you're open to investing in yourself if the path forward is clear and aligned.
This call is not for you if:
You’re looking for quick tips or surface-level advice.
You want someone to take sides or blame your partner.
You’re not willing to look honestly at your own patterns.
You’re looking for someone to teach you how to manipulate or control another person.
You’re not in a position to invest time, energy, or money into meaningful change.
This clarity saves us both time.
What we’ll do in this call
During this 20-minute private session, we will:
Identify the relationship pattern that keeps repeating.
Understand what happens internally when emotional pressure rises.
Identify where you lose clarity, self-trust, or self-direction.
Explore what keeps you stuck even when you already “know better.”
Clarify what would actually need to change for you to respond differently.
Determine whether an 8-week private coaching process makes sense for your situation.
You’ll leave with greater clarity about what is actually happening and what needs to change, whether we work together or not.
About me
I’m Richard Van Der Spuy, a relationship and mindset coach with:
1,500+ hours of paid coaching experience with executives around the world.
200+ hours of professional training through Robbins-Madanes, with a special focus on relationships.
Experience working with high-functioning professionals who struggle internally with self-worth, emotional confidence, self-trust, and relational clarity.
I don't teach manipulation tactics to “fix” your partner.
I help you develop the internal authority to change how you show up in your relationships, regardless of how the other person responds.
Because you can't control another person.
But you can change your relationship with yourself inside the relationship.
The 8-Week Private Coaching Process
If we decide it's a strong fit, I'll invite you into a focused 8-week private coaching process.
The goal isn't to give you more insight.
You probably already have plenty of insight.
The goal is to help you close the gap between what you understand when you're calm and how you actually respond when the emotional pressure is on.
Over the 8 weeks, we'll work through the pattern itself rather than simply talking about it.
1. See the pattern clearly
Understand what happens, when it happens, and what you tend to do when emotional pressure rises.
2. Understand what's driving it
Identify the meaning, identity, and protective strategy underneath the behaviour.
3. Reclaim your internal authority
Separate what belongs to you from what you're trying to control, manage, or get from someone else.
4. Build a different response
Develop the ability to stay connected to yourself when you're triggered, challenged, or uncertain.
5. Apply it in the relationship
Bring that new response into boundaries, conflict, communication, and connection.
6. Make it sustainable
Develop a clearer understanding of your own relationship patterns and how to interrupt them when they return.
The aim isn't to become someone who never gets triggered.
It's to become someone who can stay connected to themselves when they are.
How to prepare
Before booking, you'll be asked a few short questions.
Answer honestly.
Your answers help me understand your situation before we speak and make sure the conversation is relevant to you.
There is no obligation to continue beyond the call.
If you're ready to stop managing the symptoms and start changing the structure underneath, you can book your call below.
(Limited availability each month. I work with a small number of clients at a time.)
What clients say
Recommendations
I am delighted to recommend Richard as an phenomenal Life & Career coach. His expertise and dedication have made a significant impact on both my personal and professional growth. Richard has an incredible ability to assess the underlying limiting beliefs that hold you back, redirect your focus to what is really true, and equip you with effective tactics and tools to tackle any challenge.
Thanks to his coaching, I have found ways to make even more meaningful contributions both at work and at home. I highly recommend Richard to anyone seeking a transformative coaching experience.
Palo Alto, California, United States
Richard has had a profound impact on my personal and professional life.
Through his work, I've gained a deeper, more meaningful understanding of my personality and how to leverage its idiosyncrasies to become better in a professional and personal setting. The tools he has helped me develop have made a huge difference in how I approach difficult situations and navigate uncertainty in my day-to-day life.
I highly recommend his work.
Mérida, Yucatán, Mexico
I had the privilege of working with Richard to overcome some limiting beliefs I had. His patience, kindness, and expertise were truly remarkable. Richard not only helped me conquer these obstacles but also skillfully aligned me with the priorities that are most important in my life. I am immensely grateful for his guidance and highly recommend him to anyone seeking personal growth and transformation.
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Ready to Create The Relationship You Want?
It’s free, confidential, and designed to help you find clarity.
I first approached Richard with some personal crisis and since then he has become my go-to for all things for 2 reasons - one, he is straight as an arrow and directly sees through and addresses the root issue with empathy without deviating or hitting around the bushes; secondly, Richard does not make a call for you, helps you to make one - often times comforting you to pick the right thing you already know, but unwilling or scared to pursue. He helps you see the larger picture beyond our individual needs and perceptions. Richard also has an innate sense of how to make his clients feel empowered without judgement,and replete with empathy and care. Richard & I have worked together on multiple occassions and each time was a success. I cannot recommend Richard enough.
Dublin, County Dublin, Ireland
I discovered Richard’s coaching skills at the start of this year; unhappy with myself, feeling stuck in a rut in many ways and unmotivated - I decided to give coaching a go. I was quite apprehensive having not done anything like it before but Richard immediately put me at ease.
Following a few sessions I can honestly say Richard’s coaching has helped changed my life, and hugely exceeded my own expectations. I’m finding a level of calm confidence yet high motivation which is already proving beneficial for my health and my career. I would recommend his services to anyone.
Richmond Upon Thames, England, United Kingdom
You don’t have to wait until things fall apart to make a shift.
No pressure, no forcing anything, just a safe, honest space to explore what’s next.
You can begin now. Calmly. Steadily. On your own terms.
And you don’t have to walk that path alone.
Four foundations of an empowered life
Purpose
Come to see and understand what's most important to you, and why, and choose the direction of your life accordingly.
Relationships
Discover how surprisingly simple it is to have a better relationship with most people while making it great with those closest to you.
Authenticity
Unlock your hidden potential by understanding who you are through the needs that are driving your behaviours.
Growth
Gain clarity on what stops you from moving in the direction you wish to go and learn how to break through those barriers.
While our challenges often seem complex and insurmountable, the foundation of most challenges are simple and can thus be transcended with relatively straightforward strategies and actions.
1:1 Coaching FAQ
How do coaching conversations take place?
I work one on one with my clients online via Google Meet.
What if I’m nervous or unsure if coaching is for me?
That’s normal. Many clients come to me uncertain at first. This initial call is free and no-obligation. It’s your chance to experience the process without pressure.
How is coaching with you different from therapy?
Therapy often focuses on healing the past. Coaching is about where you are now and the future you want to create. We’ll look at your mindset, values, and habits, and help you recalibrate your inner reality towards a more empowered and fulfilling life.
Is everything we discuss confidential?
The session is recorded with a transcript (with your agreement) which you get to keep whether or not we work together and helps me to further improve and add value to how I serve you.
This is always kept 100% confidential. Coaching only works when you can speak freely and trust that what you share stays private.
What kind of results can I expect?
Every client’s journey is unique, but common outcomes include:
- Greater clarity on what truly matters.
- Stronger confidence and self-worth.
- Healthier, more connected relationships.
- A renewed sense of energy and purpose.
What if I’ve tried other programs or self-help before and nothing worked?
That’s more common than you think. The difference here is personal, focused coaching tailored to your unique values and story not a one-size-fits-all procedure. My method uses frameworks that provide a solid foundation on which to master your relationships, and the journey is simple and flexible enough to meet you where you are.
How do I know if I’m ready?
If you feel even a small part of you saying, “there has to be more than this” you’re ready to explore. You don’t need to have it all figured out before booking the call; that’s exactly what working with me is about.
What happens after the call?
If we both feel it’s a good fit, you can proceed to entering the program with me. If not, you’ll still leave the call with more clarity and perspective as you move forward + you'll get to keep the recording.
Still unsure? The best way to know is to try. Click below to book your free, no-pressure call.
